Tips for Writers Who Have Lost the Love
Updated: Feb 10
Writing is like falling in love.
You meet a character. You become obsessed. Together, you get playful. You fall head over heels. If youʼre lucky, you stay that way for a while.
At some point, reality sets in. Your love isnʼt perfect. Your relationship is going to take work. You wonder,
Is this project worth it at all?
Over the past few weeks a number of my clients have had their creative confidence shaken. It happens: we lose the love. We and our current project need couples therapy.
Let's set aside writing for a second. What do human partners do when the spark fades?
One tip couples therapists suggest is to give your partner three genuine compliments a day.
Give your current project and your inner artist the same loving care:
Writing Exercise #1
In your notebook, answer these two questions:
What are three things you like about your current project?
What are three things youʼre good at as a writer?
Even if youʼre not feeling loving toward yourself or your project right now, answering these questions will remind you of why you fell in love with your piece, and writing in general, in the first place.
Another couples therapy tip:
If something needs to change in your relationship, hold back the cruelest criticism. Instead, focus on and communicate what you actually need.
How does this play out in our writing practice?
Writing Exercise #2
If youʼre stuck on a second, third, or millionth draft, ask yourself (kindly) in your notebook:
“What do I need right now as an artist?”
The answer might be, “To schedule a writing date.” It might be, “A session with Seth.” It might be, “A break and a glass of water.”
And here's some more woo-woo advice that actually works:
In your notebook, (kindly) ask your main character:
“What do you need?"
“Why isnʼt this piece working?”
Most of the time? They know. And theyʼll tell ya.
For more tips on breaking through writing blocks:
*If you refer a new client to me by June 15, 2021, youʼll earn a $100 credit toward your next coaching call valued at $100 or more.*
Happy Valentineʼs Day to all you lovers of writing. As for you and your current project? I know you two wacky kids will work it out.